What should I do with my life?

14 December 2007

Well, you're not alone. I ask myself this every day.

2007 just disappeared. The time has gone so fast. I wasted it. I am no further ahead in anything than I was twelve months ago. Time - the one thing we can never replace.

Project Palhaco saved me.

The pathway is full of problems and obstacles, sure, but if I focus on them, this is where I will stay: paralysed, stuck. I'm kinda still in the phase: what if I start this thing, and it doesn't work out? What if I get these peoples' hopes up and then fall flat on my face? What if no-one visits the site, reads my blog?

This big "What if I crash and burn..." phase happens to us all, it is a common feeling in the pre-commitment stage. The best way to deal with it, as I said a few blogs back, is just to START. Leave the problems take care of themselves.

It's extraordinary, but they will.

I am on a wicked learning path. I am nervous a lot, because I have zero resources, and no backup. And Daniel, haha.

I truly believe that there is great power in STARTING - that first step, dragging your dream into the concrete world, seems to unleash some cosmic response.

The times when I am so tired, so sick of begging my friends for a busfare to get some medicine up to a kid, or a chicken every now and then [re-read Blog 02 December] I just think about my last hug from Monstrinho [below] and I stop complaining and start DOING. He still needs a bath, and a haircut - but his fever is gone, and his sores, and his nits - and he's very much loved! But a little food would help, huh.

We'll get there.

You don't have to get involved in this little project. But coming along with us through this blog, maybe you will find the courage, or the key, to do whatever it is you really want. Many people have everything - except happiness, or fulfillment, or a sense of worth.

It's not easy to find this, to make the change, and I never said it was. First you need to choose what you WANT. Then focus on it, 24/7, like little Palhaco has taken over my life.

Throw in some discipline, to keep yourself on track - and watch your confidence grow. And the best way to BE confident is to ACT confident, even when you are shaking in your boots. The act soon becomes a habit, and you become... confident!

Tomorrow I aim to take another tourist to the community - I hope my blog tomorrow will be through his/her eyes.

Meanwhile, Monstrinho, hang in there cause I really need those hugs!

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